10 February 2008
To Be a Republican You Need to Believe
1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.
2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's Daddy made war on him , a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a 'we can't find Bin Laden' diversion.
3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Viet Nam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq .
5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational drug corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMO's and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which tens of thousands die is solid defense policy.
12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet .
13. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
14. You support 'Executive Privilege' for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)
15. Support hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.
(anonymous e-mail)
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4 comments:
Excellent summary.
Now that's the best description of a World Turned Upside Down I've ever read. Absurdity drips from every summary statement you have so accurately captured. And, alas, my mom and dad, sitting in the splendid isolation of their ranch in Texas, truly believe in every point you list here.
Love your blog, by the way. You have way too much common sense. Need to do somethin about that...
hi bruce nice blog. I was republican but now i am not nor am i a democrat. but i would like to say that i do believe in God, But i hate no one person or belief or style of life, to me that is between them and God. Religion is my own personal journey for me and no one else. i do not bash anyone over the head with my belief. But i will answer questions if somone is curious.
when i was a republican voter i was never a republican for those reasons in your blog there. i think those that would actually believe like that are very extreme people. extremes can be found on both sides i think.
where do i stand today?? I believe in the constitution and the country as was originally founded and intended.
if anyone knows thier history well they will know the expanse of this belief that our country has so wrongly and for so long steered away from.
i am not for big government. i am not for government solving all our problems. i dont believe in socialism either.
this country was supposed to be made of what an individual could carve out of it in the pusuit of life, liberty, and happiness. given unalienable rights as individuals and a responsibility to act accordingly, and justly, with moral fortitude, goodwill, and a willingness to help one another.
these days all we do is stab each other in the back for material goods and greed.
i agree we need a change of pace in this world but ultimately i think it will fall on its face first. your kinder world will come after the death of this one im afraid. But you and many other are prepared for that so maybe it would be better to sit back and watch the show till its canceled??
I must say that much of this particular post has its tongue in its cheek...there are extremes on all sides...but we believe, somehow foolishly, that two views represent the entire spectrum of this nation. Religion to me is different than spirituality, but could be best utilised as a behaviour, rather than a belief...Religious extremism is common in the world...and creeps up on us here.
I believe in the breath of life. I believe, perhaps, that is the pronunciation of the word without vowels in judaic tradition...YHWH...inhale and you make the first sound...exhale and you create the second...the wind cries breath...all creatures great and small contain the breath of life.
I am socialistic...in the sense that I believe in a strong community and being my brother's/sister's keeper...is it the role of government? It is if we are indeed the government. What we currently have is socialism for the wealthy...and dregs for the poor...no bid contracts...and a mobile class living in gated communities, extra-national...trans-global.
We have made a faustian bargain...selling our collective souls for materialism...and greed...as you suggest. That is coming to an end. It's time for community and cottage industries...living where you work...creating more than we destroy...on very personal levels.
Thanks to everyone for their comments...
and peace on all your homes, homesteads...and on earth...
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