04 September 2008

Wrap It In A Tortilla!

That would be my message to Barack Obama over the next 61 days: Wrap it in a tortilla, if you want to sell it. I say that because I've noticed recently that KFC is trying to get everything on their menu either on a bun, in a bowl, or wrapped up in a tortilla and Taco Bell has adapted to today's busy lifestyle by gluing all their food together with cheese.. Why? Because if people can't cram it down their pieholes between stoplights without getting it all over the seat, they're just not going to buy it.. Period. Who sits down at their desk or in their cars with a knife and fork and enjoys a two piece breast and wing meal with green beans, mashed potatoes, and a biscuit? Nobody...that's who. Politics today are exactly the same, and the Democrats have a long history of offering up seven course meals against the Republicans' grab'n'go "cheese rollups" -- and they lose! Yes, it's true that a cheese rollup consists solely of microwave-melted cheese in a stale tortilla, and that a seven course meal is ultimately better than one or five cheese rollups, but you can eat a cheese rollup in like...12 seconds. And when you're done, you're not hungry anymore! Constipated, maybe.. But not hungry.. Malnutritioned? Absolutely -- but you're stuffed! That's all people have time for.. They've got about 12 seconds to get their fill of politics for the day, and whatever makes them feel like they've gotten their fill in the shortest possible time is what they'll choose, hands down.. So, Barack Obama.. Next time you're asked when life begins, don't spend too much time ruminating on it and end by saying that it's above your pay grade.. Just say "Only God knows the answer to that question" -- and be done with it! That's how you put it in a tortilla. (Thanks to Justice)

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